Hello, my name is Ismail Siddiky, and welcome to Europe Diary. Are you traveling to Portugal today? We’re discussing ten things you should absolutely not do in this country.
Let’s start with the first and foremost
Language and Communication
1. Don’t Speak Spanish in Portugal
Don’t try to speak Spanish in Portugal. First of all, the language in Portugal is Portuguese. Second of all, Portuguese people get really offended when you say “Gracias” or something similar. Just know that if you cannot speak Portuguese, do not attempt to speak Spanish. To be on the safe side, speak English. People in big cities like Lisbon and Porto will speak English too, especially if you stick to the tourist spots. But never say “Gracias” in Portugal. You will at least get some looks, and at most, someone might say something to you. However, if you want to become best friends with a Portuguese person, tell them how much you dislike the Spanish. Oh, my friend, you will be best friends by the end of the night.
Navigating Portugal
2. Don’t Trust the Maps
The second thing to avoid is trusting the maps. I’ve learned this the hard way. You might think, “Oh, let’s go to that coffee shop, it’s around the corner.” The map says, “Oh, it’s a five-minute walk, mostly flat.” Then you go around the corner, and it’s uphill like this. So instead of walking for five minutes, you end up walking for ten or even fifteen. And if it rained last night, my friend, just take a bicycle or an Uber. Don’t try to walk because you’ll be sliding down those hills since the Calçada (cobblestone) is super slippery.
3. Don’t Stay Only in Lisbon
The third thing to avoid when traveling to Portugal is staying only in Lisbon. Portugal is much more than just Lisbon. I mention this in every blog I write about Portugal: Lisbon is not all of Portugal. There are better, more beautiful places available to you. Yes, you can spend a few days in Lisbon, but that should be it. Rent a car and explore other places. Go south to Carvoeiro, Comporta, Troia, or Costa da Caparica. If you want to go up north, there are places like Mafra, Porto, and the Douro Valley, where you can take a train and do a wine tour. It’s just amazing. Don’t spend a whole week in Lisbon. Yes, Lisbon is a big city, but trust me, you can see everything you want in about 2-3 days, maximum.
Safety and Health
4. Don’t Forget to Wear Sunscreen
The next thing is crucial: if you’re going to Portugal, don’t forget to wear sunscreen, even in winter. Even if it’s cloudy, even if there is no visible sun. When I went to Portugal, I learned that the UV index can be 10 out of 10, and I was like, “What?” In Canada, it’s like 4 out of 10, 5 out of 10, and you’re like, “Yeah, okay, the sun is out.” But here, it’s 10 out of 10, 11 out of 10, 15 out of 10. I don’t know, the sun here is just ridiculous. So if your skin is as fair as mine, just put a lot of SPF on. First, you can get sunburned if you don’t wear SPF. Second, there’s the risk of skin cancer. Yes, some people might say, “Oh, I’ve spent 30 years under the sun, and I’m okay.” Yes, but technology, research, and science are at a much higher level now than they were 50 years ago. So don’t listen to those people—wear SPF. The sun is still there, looking to burn your skin.
Transportation Tips
5. Don’t Use Expensive Scooters and Bikes
If you’re moving to Lisbon, don’t use those Bolt or Bird scooters and bicycles. There is an application called GIRA, and you can get an annual pass for your bike for 25 euros. Like, what? Literally 25 euros for an annual pass. You can take a bike from a dock station, ride it for 45 minutes, and then you have the option of docking it back, waiting for some time, and then taking it again. You have only 45 minutes of a kind of free ride that’s included in your pass, or you can pay extra if needed. If you’re a slow biker like myself, don’t waste your money on Bird and Bolt because every time my friend Marco and I take the scooters, it’s like 6 euros, and I’m like, “Bro, no, I’m not doing this again.”
6. Don’t Take the 28th Tram
The next thing to avoid is taking the 28th tram. Yes, it’s iconic. Yes, it’s the typical Lisbon tram. But here’s the thing: first of all, there are other trams available in the city. Second, the number of pickpockets is just crazy. Third, if you really want to ride that tram, start from the second stop. The first one, Martim Moniz, is the most popular, where all the tourists are located. The end stop is Campo de Ourique. So if you go to this stop, Campo de Ourique, near the cemetery, the tram will be empty because all the tourists are downtown at Martim Moniz. We literally waited, I think, for half an hour for the tram. Was it worth it? Yeah, it was fun, it was cute, whatever. But would I ever wait 30 minutes to get on a tram again? I don’t think so.
7. Don’t Put Your Phone or Wallet in Your Back Pocket
Speaking of pickpockets, never put your phone or wallet in your back pockets, especially if you’re in Lisbon. It’s crazy how many pickpockets are here. I feel like everyone knows that, but people still put their phones in their back pockets, and then they’re like, “Oh, they stole my phone.” Well, yeah, that’s what pickpockets do, especially if you’re on the Pink Street, downtown, or watching some street performances. Just hold your phone like this, your bag like this, and just watch your belongings.
Dining Out
8. Don’t Assume Restaurant Extras Are Free
Moving on to the next thing: don’t assume that the bread, butter, olives, and all the other little things they bring you in a restaurant are free. What I’ve learned is that in countries like Portugal and Spain, they will bring you olives and bread as a sort of cover charge. They will charge you around two or three euros. It’s a way for the restaurant to make some extra money. In some restaurants, even if you don’t touch the bread, olives, or butter, they will still charge you. Honestly, when I first moved to Portugal, I was like, “What the hell? I haven’t even looked at those olives.” But then I thought, “You know what? Two or three euros? If I were in a restaurant in Canada, I would still tip that amount of money, so why not?”
Fashion and Attire
9. Don’t Wear Heels in Portugal
The next tip is for my ladies out there: please don’t bring heels to Lisbon, Porto, or any city in Portugal. If you didn’t know, Portuguese streets are basically Calçada (cobblestone). If you’re planning to go out, party, drink, and look gorgeous, leave your heels at home, honestly. Unless you’re planning to Uber everywhere, then sure, you can wear heels. But if you’re planning on walking, girl, just don’t do it. I mean, I’ve seen some ladies wearing platforms, which is okay, but leave the high heels at home.
Cultural Etiquette
10. Don’t Talk During Fado Concerts
The next tip is for my people who are planning to visit some Fado concerts. Fado is the traditional music here in Portugal, and you can find a lot of places where you can listen to Fado. But the thing is, you cannot—you’re not allowed, I forbid you—to talk, chat, or eat while the fadista is singing. I’ve heard stories where the fadista stops singing until the whole room is quiet. The thing is, Fado is traditionally sung in small rooms with great acoustics, so if you start talking or even chewing, everyone’s going to hear it. So if you’re planning to go to a Fado concert, please bear in mind that you need to be quiet when the fadista is singing.
11. Don’t Buy Fake Drugs
And a pro tip: please be careful on the streets of Lisbon and don’t buy those drugs that they sell. First of all, they’re not real drugs. Those are basically flower bay leaves. Everybody knows that, but tourists will still think, “Oh, I’m gonna smoke some weed. Yeah, I’m gonna buy it from those guys on the Rossio Square.” If you’re planning to make Borscht, then yes, you can buy some bay leaves from this guy and put them in your soup, but just don’t. Don’t waste your time, don’t waste your money. They’ll walk behind you and say, “Hey, marijuana.” It’s bullshit. Just listen to me—it’s bullshit. I feel like not everyone knows that you cannot sell drugs like this because, listen, if it were real drugs , do you think the police would be standing there, watching these guys? Of course not. So please don’t fall for it.
That’s it for today! Thank you for reading this blog post. If you enjoyed it and want to know more about Portugal, stay connected to my website. See you in the next post!
